Romance originally referred to anything written in romanz, which meant derived from Latin, the language of the Romans. That’s why French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian and Romanian are called Romance languages. In the 12th century they called anything in vernacular French romance, while serious literature was still in Latin. Gradually a specific kind of literature emerged, usually about knights and their ladies, often set at the court of king Arthur and those tales were called romances. Women loved those poetic pieces, and that’s how the troubadours made their appearance as well as courtly love , or fin’amors as they called it in Provence.

In courtly love the knight serves his lady with the same loyalty as he serves his lord in feudalism. She is in complete control of the relationship while he owes her obedience and submission ( the love service). Courtly love was an inspiration, the knight would try to win the lady’s favours through great deeds. Marriage had nothing to do with love in those times, it was a contract betwen two families, so courtly love took the place of the real thing although it wasn’t necessarily ” immoral” or adulterous. Young knights went around sighing, lovesick as troubadours described them, usually in love with an older woman who was married to the feudal lord of the castle. Ladies felt extremely flattered and happy for the attention they got , husbands weren’t exactly the kind to bring them flowers or write poems dedicated to their wives.

Some authors see Andreas Capellanus’s “Art of Courtly Love” ( late 12th century) as only a satire on the fin’amors, not a serious set of rules. Anyway here are what he called TheTwelve Chief Rules in Love ( compare them with today’s “codes”, if any).

1.Thou shalt keep thyself chaste for the sake of her whom thou lovest. 2. Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair that someone else is engaged in. 3.Thou shalt not chose for thy love anyone whom a natural sense of shame forbids thee to marry. 4. Be mindful completely to avoid falsehood. 5.Thou shalt not have many who know of thy love affair.

6. Being obedient in all things to the commands of ladies, thou shalt ever strive to ally thyself to the service of Love.

7. In giving and receiving love’s solaces let modesty be ever present.

8. Thou shalt speak no evil.

9. Thou shalt not be a revealer of love affairs.

10.Thou shalt be in all things polite and courteous.

11. In practising the solaces of love thou shalt not exceed the desires of thy lov

12. Thou shalt avoid avarice like the deadly pestilence and shalt embrace its opposite